There are Only a Few Bumps on the Way
In light of the still-recent excitement about the tuition cut that is took effect at BSC this past year, Bagheera is excited to announce a new and immersive learning experience that begins this fall. That’s right; just when the student body thought President Linda Flaherty-Goldsmith was all out of surprises, it has recently been uncovered that since our president arrived, the students and faculty of BSC have unknowingly been a part of this brand new class.
The new curriculum is travel-based, and it’s set right outside of BSC’s gates. It utilizes the construction traffic that has consumed the area for (seemingly) countless months. The class will consist mainly of self-reflection times lasting about ten to twenty minutes a day that take place inside the student’s own personal vehicle. Bonus points are awarded when students participate during rush hour. Grades also include a series of multiple choice prediction tests (“Which lane will be closed today: A, B, or C?”).
All students will be required to take this course every semester for the duration of their time at BSC. In order to ensure that everyone participates, all students must also keep a traffic journal listing at least one distinguishable feature of the particular day’s traffic and/or construction workers.
Because BSC is all about integrating into the surrounding community, the construction traffic affects all who enter the area, providing the chance for drivers of all walks of life to experience BSC without ever setting foot on the campus.
This will create a sense of camaraderie and school spirit in everyone involved, as each will have the common desire for the car in front of them to move “Forward, Ever! Backward, Never!”
It has not been formally decided which department will take on this new class, but, as of this moment, the top two contenders vying for this invaluable prize are the Religion department, because patience to sit in traffic is a virtue, and the English department, because many students will use this opportunity to add to their already colorful vocabularies.
Over the next few years, it is hopeful that this course and others like it will come together to form a comprehensive major. BSC recognizes that daily quiet time is key in getting the most out of life.
As German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “Our greatest experiences are our quiet moments.” In an effort to anticipate student needs, it has come to the attention of the faculty that with the current technology craze, most students are not spending enough time in solitude, so BSC has decided to manufacture some quiet time for them.
So just ignore all the other cars with their angry drivers and blaring horns and force yourself into a wonderfully enlightening experience brought to you by your home on the Hilltop. You may be asking, “Did President Goldsmith really go to all this trouble just for us?” But if anybody has the power to stop traffic for the good of her students, it’s our dear Ms. Prez.
Special thanks to the BSC Library Archives for the cartoon.